Finding Greener Grass

Almost immediately after I was fired I began researching other gyms in our area.  I knew Alyssa was quite attached to her coaches and had no desire for a change, but I also knew it would be impossible to remain associated with a business when we had no respect for the owner nor most of the staff.  How could we continue to pour money into the pockets of one who'd treated us so unjustly and unprofessionally?

I talked with as many people as I could--coaches, judges, gym owners and parents.  I got a lot of opinions--widely varied--and most of them agreed that no matter what move we made, we'd be better off than we were with our current gym.

As miserable as I felt with our situation, I struggled with the idea of a change.  I'm a generally content person that is more often than not satisfied with the green-ness of my grass.  And frankly, I sometimes find myself annoyed with others who are dissatisfied with their seemingly lush lawns.  I often said to Jon, "My biggest fear is getting caught up in the idea that the grass is greener somewhere else."

"Well our grass is pretty darn brown right now!" was his reply.

He was right.  And there was very little hope of reviving it.

We waited until Alyssa was away at fifth grade camp to make our first big move.  We visited another gym.  It felt sneaky.  Almost dishonest, even though it wasn't.  We'd weighed the pros and cons from all of our sources but finally decided to visit the one closest to home.  It also produces the best gymnasts in the state.  But they have a reputation for being...intense.

We confessed our snooping to Alyssa and told her that while we would not force this decision on her, we were going to insist on a trial.  The next day, on Lys' day off from gym, I suggested she go watch.  She reluctantly agreed.  It didn't take long for her to notice a skill level, efficiency and sense of team that was not present in her current gym.  On our way out she asked, "So when will I try it?"

I spoke with the team director the following day and shortly thereafter, both girls were doing their first training trial in the new gym.

Jon and I met with the gym owner who more or less had been expecting us.  He told us that he had seen Alyssa do bars at the state meet and had commented to a coach from our previous gym about her talent.  This coach responded with, "Well she may be coming your way very soon because they just fired her mom."  The gym owner was glad we'd come.  And when we left his office 40 minutes later, Jon let out a sigh and said, "I feel so much better already."  On top of that, the girls loved it.  Both were training new skills and feeling welcomed by the other gymnasts.

So you'd think pulling the plug would be easy.  But you'd be wrong.  I truly don't believe Alyssa has ever cried so much in her entire life.  Change is never easy and I know leaving had her feeling exceptionally disloyal to Chen and Tia, the only two coaches who'd ever really invested in her gymnastics.  It was agonizing.  We prayed, we cried, we talked more than is typically comfortable for our stoic Alyssa.  We tossed and turned all night for an entire weekend.  But after day two of her trial at the new gym, Lys was noticing greener grass under her feet.  And she's never looked back.

It's not easy to explain how difficult a trial this has been and the emotional toll it has taken on our family.  I remember numerous people commenting to me that perhaps my firing was a blessing in disguise.  I often wondered how being treated so disrespectfully and unfairly could be a blessing.  But it is true that had it not occurred, I'm quite positive we would've never considered making this change.  And though it may be too early to tell, the grass does seem a whole lot greener for all of us.