My kids have always been pretty independent. Except for Caleb's exceptionally rocky nursery years, all three of them have easily--if not eagerly--left my protective wing and each of them have almost always preferred to do things for themselves.
Long before they were tall enough (let's face it, two of them still aren't tall enough) to reach the cupboards, they'd scale the counters to get their own drinking cup, or the pantry shelves to reach a snack.
There was only one time when this sort of independence bothered me. It was a Saturday morning, many years ago, when Jon and I woke to the crash of the bottom pantry shelf collapsing under the weight of our two oldest's feet, sending all of our canned goods tumbling to the floor. Yeah, we weren't very happy about that. But most of the time, I celebrate their independent spirits, even if it means they climb on the countertops to serve themselves.
This past summer, all three of them delighted in a newfound independence called, "going to the store without an adult to spend our own money." As often as their schedules and finances would allow, they'd take themselves for lunch or a treat. Isn't that great? It reminded me of when I used to love to do the same thing. (Somehow going to the store to spend my own money just doesn't excite me anymore.)
Riding off on a brother-sister lunch date
My kids go to Walgreens, Subway or the latest cool spot, Cherry De Pon--a self-serve yogurt shop. For me, it was a grocery store called Super Duper.
I'd go with my siblings, or a friend, or both the back way to the store. The back way was actually the longer way, but our route kept us away from the busy road, making it the safer way. We'd go one block north to the edge of the elementary school, two blocks east and then one block south til we came to the back door of the laundromat that was in a small strip mall which was attached to Super Duper.
The laundromat provided a humid, detergent-scented shortcut. Just outside the laundromat's front door we'd find Super Duper on the left and the neighborhood ladies setting their perms under dryers in the beauty salon to the right.
Ten enormous, pastel-colored diamonds stretched the length of Super Duper's roofline, each holding a black block letter to spell out the store's name. A circus elephant mascot completed the signage. Just inside the entrance I recall stacked pallets of glass bottles that once held red or orange sodas but had been returned for refunds. It was a cool grocery store, you know? Or was it just cool because I got to go alone? Probably the latter.
Then one day, a new Roadrunner mini mart opened across the street. For whatever reason, it became our go-to place for Runts, Fun Dip, candy necklaces or Big League Chew. It was inside that Roadrunner where I once rebelled against what my mother had taught me and bought a package of candy cigarettes. Going to Roadrunner also required walking further from home and crossing a busy street, thus adding to the adventure of it all.
Soon enough, Smitty's gas station opened kitty-corner from Roadrunner and just like that, we had a store on every corner beckoning for our pocket change.
Walgreens isn't particularly exciting to me but for my kids, it's their Super Duper. I get it. And all summer long I got an immense amount of joy out of watching them take off together, building fond childhood memories while feeling so grown up.
I thought Caleb especially clever the day he invited Alyssa on a lunch date. Caleb was plum out of spending money but he remembered Alyssa's Subway gift card that she was given for being a 5th grade helper at school last year. He realized that if she used her card to buy herself a sandwich, he could use my "buy one 6 inch, get one 6 inch free" coupon and manage himself a free lunch. Perfect!
He also once convinced his youngest sister to pool her greater sum with his meager amount but then equally share the purchase of one Gatorade and a package of Jolly Ranchers. She's not old enough to go without him as her guide so I guess it's all fair in the end.
Super Duper is now a bingo hall and many things have changed (though the laundromat and beauty salon are still there) since those olden days. But I've decided that one of the best things about being a mother is getting to relive some of your childhood memories as you watch your children create their own.