An Enormous Victory in Teeny Tiny Shorts

This is a success story (a long and wordy success story, I might add.)  A victory.  A triumph!

Many--maybe even most--kids participate in one high school sport or another.  So you might think Caleb joining the cross country team is not that big of a deal.  But most kids aren't battling the social and behavioral tendencies of Asperger's Syndrome.  Trust me, this is a big deal.  A huge deal.

Most individuals with AS have a hyperfocus, or a topic of intense interest.  It might be maps, molecular structure or trains.  Thankfully for us, Caleb's hyperfocus is sports.  I say thankfully because it is a very socially acceptable topic.

He's always loved sports.  He played on a variety of teams when he was younger, but he now prefers to enjoy them as a spectator, or alone in the backyard, or with a select few individuals that play his way.  I encouraged him to join the middle school basketball team when he was in 6th grade but after one day of practice, he decided the pressure of balancing it with academics as well as the adolescent social aspect of the team to be too overwhelming.  He viewed the teammates as bullies.  They probably weren't, but he clearly didn't feel like he fit in.

Over the next few middle school years, I frequently suggested giving basketball another try (he's a really amazing shot) and I pushed for him to join the track team.  I was met with resistance at every turn.

Then it was time to go to high school.  Perhaps it was the realization that in four short years he should be prepared to venture out into the world on his own and venturing requires doing unfamiliar things, or maybe it was that I want him to go to college and I know that applicants are expected to be well-rounded, but I began to feel a real sense of urgency to push Caleb out of his comfort zone.  The comfort zone being our living room with ESPN and Phineas and Ferb as his friends.

I decided to pressure him into cross country.  He does, after all, hold a record at the elementary school for the mile run and he's got that ultra lean runner's physique.  Plus, I thought the individual nature of the sport would allow him to feel less pressure while still being part of a team.

I knew convincing him would be difficult, if not impossible.  I played into his love of BYU by bringing up their website to show him how successful BYU is in cross country and I tried every other positive encouragement I could think of.  Oh how I tried and I tried!  Nothing was working.  You see, people with AS aren't known for their open-mindedness.  In fact, their rigidity can at times be quite debilitating.

But I believe in a Heavenly Father who hears and answers our prayers and I was praying ever so fervently that if this was truly to be a good experience for him, as I thought it might be, that Caleb would become open to at least giving it a try.  My prayer was answered in the form of a boy named Sean.

Caleb and I went to Raven Day, which is the designated day to pick up your class schedule.  (Oh, and to spend your life's savings on things like yearbooks and ASB cards.)  We also had an appointment with his counselor just to make sure everything was in order and to help set any anxieties at ease.  Knowing Caleb feels most comfortable when he knows what to expect, I asked the counselor if she could explain to him what the first day of school--a freshman-only orientation--would be like.  She honestly didn't know so she excused herself to get a Raven Crew member (student leader) because they are responsible for running that show.  When she returned from the hallway, she was being followed by boy named Sean who was wearing the school's cross country shirt.

"Oh look Caleb, he's wearing a cross country shirt!"

"Mom! Don't talk about that right now," he barked under his breath.

But Sean pounced on it like we'd just mentioned his life's passion.  He pitched joining cross country like a veritable used car salesman but with a sincerity that made Caleb feel like had a new best friend.  Within minutes, Sean was sharing his cell phone number and begging Caleb to come to practice the very next day.

Sean's recruiting worked.  Caleb went the next day.  I tried to play it cool.  You know, not ask too many questions that might be interpreted as pressure from his pushy but well-meaning mother.  I worried that he would come home after that first practice and decide it wasn't for him.  But he didn't.  Just stepping foot into a room full of strangers on that first day and onto a team of an unfamiliar sport was a massive victory for him and I was ever so proud.  He's been going ever since.

When he brought home his uniform I thought I'd die.  The tiniest singlet with even tinier shorts.  He tried it on and I felt like I should look away.  He was showing more leg than when he's in his underwear!  Perhaps slightly more roomy but hardly more coverage than a Speedo.  Yikes.  He seemed OK with it but I bought some UnderArmour to cover a bit more of those pasty white thighs.

Saturday was his first race.  I was not prepared for the size of the event which included hundreds and hundreds of runners from 43 different schools from around the state. I was overcome with emotion at the very thought that he was actually doing it.  And then we learned that a portion of his 3,000 meters (they were 5 person relays and each did 3,000 meters) would go through the lake.  Through the lake!  What?! Caleb has a thing about lakes.  He hates them.  He refused to get in the water last year at scout camp and this year's scout camp location was selected specifically for him because it had a pool.

We're not talking ankle-deep either.  Let's just say that it's a good thing he was wearing his Speedo...I mean teeny tiny shorts.  His disdain for lakes is such that I worried he might not go through with it.  But I never should've worried.

There he goes...

Go Caleb, Go!

Heading into the lake...

Some runners actually became swimmers at this point.  But Caleb, like most, just waded through it as quickly as possible.

Coming into the finish...

He did great.  We don't know his exact split time and I don't even care because it doesn't matter.  What matters is that he did it.  And when I think of all he had to overcome in his little Asperger mind to get to that finish line, I'm unbelievably proud.

Caleb was the last leg in his relay and was therefore among the last runners out on the course.  Long after he and all the other runners had finished, we became aware that one of his teammates was still finishing.  I was so touched to see a group of them go back out on the course to encourage her to the finish line.  That tall blonde boy on the right is Sean.  I'm not surprised to see him in this group.  He's that kind of kid.  

They crossed the finish line as a group and I thought to myself, "this is exactly the kind of team I want my son to be a part of."

Auburn Riverside Cross Country Team--Caleb's on the far right next to that boy with the awesome 'fro.

Way to go, Caleb!  You make me proud.

It's never easy, but he's overcoming obstacles like this all the time and we'll celebrate each victory along the way!