ASTAR

I feel it's fair to say I've weathered a few storms in my life. I know, it’s all part of the plan. But for me, nothing has been more difficult than the challenges of mothering a child with special needs.

The journey has been much too long and detailed to recount here. My insecurities and heartaches have caused me to refrain from sharing details of our experiences and I have therefore spent a lot of time feeling very alone. As I grow in my acceptance of this challenge, I am becoming more prone to sharing the happenings, heartaches and blessings of this journey.

I’m quite sure if I had the skills and the time, I could write a book. It wouldn't be a short story, but one with many chapters. There would be a chapter on the early years of Caleb's life, one for his medical history and the countless specialists he has seen. There could be one devoted to his diagnosis of Auditory Processing Disorder and speech deficits. I could write a chapter for each year of his schooling beginning with preschool. I'm not sure I could fit my emotional heartache into just one chapter, so that might take two. I'd have to mention the times I've felt judged and offended by other parents, professionals, friends and even family. I would also have to include my growth toward acceptance of our reality and how becoming an advocate for our son became a full-time job. I’d make note of the times I felt my faith was tested, when the dark days wouldn’t cease and tears flowed freely. The book would include a chapter on his failings, his unique challenges but more importantly his successes and accomplishments. There would be more than a few sentences devoted to pointing out what a truly amazing boy I’ve been blessed to raise!

Today, we added a new chapter to this book. This chapter is far from being finished but it is, nevertheless, a new chapter. Caleb had an appointment with Dr. Gary Stobbe, a neurologist that runs a clinic called ASTAR. ASTAR is an acronym for Autism Spectrum Treatment and Research. After a 90 minute visit, he confirmed what I feel I have known for quite some time, that Caleb meets the criteria for Asperger’s Syndrome. Asperger’s is a mild or high-functioning form of autism. He feels that Caleb has a great prognosis for leading a successful and happy life. Caleb’s IQ has not been assessed but based on the information he does have, the doctor feels that he most likely has a high IQ which will also make dealing with his challenges easier. He also pointed out that even though Caleb’s interests are narrow, like most autistic children, his interest in sports is a functional one, one that can provide him many opportunities in his life. Even if he doesn’t have the skills to be a player, Dr. Stobbe said his memory would make for an amazing statistician! He praised us for the work we’ve done with Caleb, giving us a glowing report card. I left feeling very validated.

Caleb’s book has many unwritten chapters, but I would certainly be remiss if I did not include a chapter on the blessings we’ve received by having him be a part of our family. He is a good boy that has taught me so much! I have learned lessons that I’m sure could not have come any other way. Everything is more exciting when Caleb is around! I love my boy more than any words could ever express. And though there will be more hard times and many hurdles to climb, I’ll be by his side fighting the fight! I feel strongly that I am the best mom for Caleb and it’s with great humility that I thank my Heavenly Father for giving me the privilege of raising this special boy!